Is it better to burn than to fade away?

Back after a while, was out due to exams and all that.

Touching a somewhat less pleasant subject this time: Death.

Since my last post two people died. One was 32 and chose to finally make his dream come true and fly his way through the last instant of his life, the other was 36 and brutally torn away from his family for which he cared an awful lot.

As they say in life, you’re only sure of one thing which is you’ll die. I hardly know if that’s a comforting thing, though I’m sure it is for some, but it’s quite hard to get why some have to get out way too soon.

The first friend I've lost was a son of good friends of ours, and he was without any doubt a very good friend as well. Living in Brazil since a couple of years to finally get at ease with himself, to be no longer confronted with the dreams he once had and could not make true, something must’ve snapped. He decided to do what they never let him do and after bravely getting in touch with several of his relatives and true friends he made that final step or dive down from the eleventh floor of his hotel.

While I have always believed suicide is at least somewhat morally wrong, and am still inclined to think it’s not the way out you’d want to take - especially considering all the grief it caused to his family and all the others that knew him through his bright and enthusiast appearance -, it’s hard to judge. Of course, people talk about finishing it all quite quickly these days, but then, when you’re really at the end of your odds, no illusions left, mentally dying for some rest, peace, what would you do? The time we get that final drop might come for all of us, and what will you do?

No-one can tell, I’m afraid. And never trust the ones that do.

The second friend I’ve lost however is a different case. I still vividly remember meeting him for the first time about a year ago. Almost instantly embracing me and telling he liked me, I was a bit confused at first but then really appreciated him quite fast. I will always remind how he showed – with obvious great love – the pictures of his kids for which he must have cared a great, great deal.

Second time I met him was this year still, and again I was impressed by his great ‘lovability’. Enthusiast, friendly, considerate, all a good man should be really. Seeing how he clearly loved his wife was an big pleasure as well. We didn’t speak as much as the first time, but his presence was once again enjoyed. A lot.

We also had contact through the internet. He was sometimes a bit cryptic, but once again his great personality showed through every single character he put on the screen. Dealing with him was always a pleasure, and every time I found an envelope with a disc coming from him in my mailbox I could be sure he had included a little note in which he told me to enjoy the CD or DVD and finished with ‘Your good friend, Christian’.

Perhaps I might have not known him for a long time, but I do certainly consider myself to be lucky to have known him.

I hope I will never understand the injustice done to such a lovable man by tearing him away from his family.

The memories of both of your wonderful personalities will always be kept close to me. Rest in peace Boris, Christian. You both deserve to. Big time.

You’re not dead until you’re forgotten.